i knew why i was here

at the moment I stepped onto school ground
i knew the exact reason why i came back
i wanted to see Ms. Hanmer and play on quiz team:)

I feel like a dumbass

Why didnt he call me today:(
i just texted him two minutes ago...and he didnt reply
am i overreacting?

You know, my life was perfectly fine until he came in
fuck


i think i am falling for him


fuckfuckfuck
i shouldn't be in love with anyone before college!

I need to stay focus
stay focus
stay focus

你是陽光嗎

11/27

Today I went out with my nerdy friend. The guy i met at Upenn on Monday.
It was so fun today. We went to Sabrina for brunch. There we met a really cute girl named Lailai~ "American babies are cute." I said. Jae replied, " All babies are cute. " Ha, i think he's so cute:) Franklin Institute was fun and I guess it was the perfect way to express our nerdiness:P There was this oil drop experiment show. We bursted out ," charge of electron." at the same time...gosh, we are so nerdy haha. After we got out from Franklin Institute, we walked along the Franklin Parkway and sat at the Love Park for half an hour. Yes, def. crazy...It was too cold...He saw the city hall and wanted to go so then we went to city hall and i bought a very cute hate:) ( mom said it was stupid...) Anyhow, the cutest thing of the day is the christmas photo stand :) See facebook for the pic. In the afternoon, we went iceskating! We skated for more than 2 hours...That was the longest Ive ever skated before, so was his. However, it wasnt as romantic as i thought it would be. haha I think the main reason is just that I am so lame at iceskating.... He taught me how to turn but I still couldn't get it...Yeah i know...I never get it... The high light was that he took off my shoes. I completely felt like a princess..hehe We walked and sat at a park again and listened to tons of korean music including outsider, and he sang po cho ship ta for me:) I am going to die, You are so handsome from the front from the side and from the back. Also, there's one about i am so scared and stay with me. I think that's pretty cute too.

At the end we went back and ate at Subway! Yes, my favorite Italian bread with veggies:)

When he had to leave, I wanted him to stay so badly:( He said, " cya next week!" I hope..i can see him soon~

i miss you

i miss you so much
(M)

1/2 rule isn't BS

I guess the 1/2 rule isn't BS..
Anywayz, I met this guy @ Upenn's admission office..11/22/2010 3PM
I got lost because I couldn't find the engineering building- towne, he was heading toward the info session as well
We then walked together. I told him that I went to Emma, he was like, " No way.. I went to Salisbury!" What a coincidence! He wants to major in Chemical and Biomedical engineering. We talked a lot~ Well, he talked a lot. I listened a lot, lol. He is very much like Cliff. I don't know if it's a boy's school thing or what? I think he's real, cute, fun and smart:)
Well, I guess that's why ppl should go to a good school..:) or in this case, why ppl should go to an info session.

Later, we walked to the book store to get his white shirt and went to Cosi for food+ drink:) talked a lot about sports--even though I understand none. Haha. And I even found out that our dads are both neurosurgeons! He wants to walk me back to Ted's place but I asked my cousin to pick me up @ Houston Hall. After that, he texted me saying, " It was nice seeing you. "

Good day, good day:)

1650735

He exists now...only in my memory.

How could I hear the heart breaking sound? How could he not feel it?
I am looking for something bigger, better, and forever. That's something that I could not get from both Mr. B and Mr. M...
I am waiting for that one and only...Like Rose and Jack.

Just in case i lose it

Safety:
Bryn Mawr
RPI

Likely:
Hamilton

Possible:
Barnard College
Bucknell College
Colgate University
Vassar
Wellesley

Reach:
Dartmouth
Duke
Georgetown
Middlebury

Far Reach:
Princeton
Upenn

3 happy things

11172010 Three things :
1. Finish physics hw! Well, it should not be a big deal but last night I actually enjoyed doing my homework:) We are on the rotational chapter right now. We are learning moment of inertia and some other fun stuff! I think I am bringing my physics workbook to Ted's place so I can do more physics during break. Gosh I sound like a nerd haha.
2. Won quiz team match. We had a game last night with Ticonderoga. I think yesterday was my personal best performance. I answered a question about Kate Middleton, Prince Williams long time gf ( yes, put my gossip girl quality into good use), 3 Math questions, 1 Science question and a Louis the 14 question. It felt fantabulous. We went to subway and I ordered the healthiest burger in the entire world which also makes me happy.
3. S'mores w/o chocolate. Since I am on a vegan diet now, I did not eat the S'more w/ chocolate. I ate 10 marshmallow, big one! Sweet makes me really happy!
11182010
1. Advisory time
2. Happy nutritional breakfast w/ my personalize 99% hot cocoa
3. Finish playwriting hw!

"Tomorrow is another day!" Can't believe I am quoting gone with the wind....

becoming a Vegan:)

From : http://aveganlife.blogspot.com/2008/10/101-reasons-why-im-vegan.html

Vegans on average live up to 6 years longer than non-vegans.
Vegans on average are 10% lighter than non vegans.
It's virtually impossible to get a heart attack if you are vegan because the lowest cholesterol level for a heart attack was 150 and on average a vegan's total cholesterol is 128.
It's always nice to know you haven't eaten a dead animal for breakfast.
Or lunch or dinner for that matter.
Leather is dead skin, something I use an exfoliator to get rid of.
Animals are cuter and softer when they are living and breathing, not in jackets or trim.
Because cows also feel pain.
Because a lobster doesn't have a shock system that inhibits extreme pain when it's cut in half or boiled alive.
Meat and dairy makes your farts smell worse.
Lettuce doesn't ooze blood when you cut it.
Cucumbers don't have faces.
I don't see anything different between eating my dog and eating a cow.
Because I have 9 pet chickens and they are so cute and lovable!
Because animals can't speak up and say they don't want to be eaten.
Because giving a damn is attractive.
It takes over 3000 gallons of water to feed an omnivore for a day, and less than 400 gallons to feed a vegan.
Because most of the deforestation in the Amazon is for increasing cattle grazing lands.
And the Amazon Rainforest has the most rare species than any other place in the world.
The man who made the word vegan, Donald Watson, lived to be 94
Dr. Atkins however, had severe heart disease and died at the age of 70.
A lot of rabbit fur used for jacket trim is actually mislabelled dog and cat fur.
Animals in China used for fur are killed by smashing their heads against brick walls.
Many pet dogs die each year by stumbling into fur traps in the woods.
Beavers are drowned to death by traps to use them for fur.
Fur smells like nasty chemicals.
Faux fur is cheaper anyways.
And leather is disgusting when it rips and you can see all the fibers of the skin of the animals it used to be.
Leather tanning is extremely harmful to the environment.
Fiber (found in veggies) helps keep you regular.
The casein protein in milk causes your bones to lose calcium in urine.
Countries that have low intake of dairy actually have less hip fractures, a sign of osteoporosis.
I have a lot more energy than I did before I went vegan.
Eating meat means you payed for the slaughter of an innocent animals.
On average, vegans save 90 lives per year.
Humans have characteristics that show they were meant to be herbivores.
Because I don't salivate when I see roadkill.
Milk is the breast milk of another species.
Have you ever seen a dog suckling from a giraffe?
And we drink it past infancy too, something that certainly isn't normal.
I don't go to zoos because there was a dolphin who attempted suicide from the stress of being watched 24/7 and being confined in a small tank.
How would you like to be confined to a cage not much bigger than your bedroom for the rest of your life?
Because the only way to train circus animals to do unnatural tricks is by fear.
Elephants are beaten with electric prods to get them to perform.
Soy milk doesn't have pus (somatic cells) in it.
98% of chicken contains a small piece of feces, aka SHIT.
That gives new meaning to the phrase "chickenshit."
I don't have to worry about cross-contamination between raw meat and vegetables.
If I under cook my food, it won't kill me.
A hamburger is a patty of ground of cow brains, meat, and tissue.
Under animal protection laws for slaughtering, birds don't count as animals.
Not that those laws are adhered to anyway.
Pigs have the mental ability of 3-year old children.
That little piggy is smarter than your dog.
Fish can concentrate toxins from its environment up to 9 MILLION times stronger in their flesh.
Shrimp has more cholesterol than beef.
Chickens and humans both have a tongue, 2 legs, a brain, a nose, and nails. And we both have hearts.
Eating something that died doesn't make you manly.
It shows you have disrespect for life.
Every year in the UK ALONE, livestock is fed enough food to feed 250,000,000 people while in the world 30,000,000 people die of starvation.
1 acre yields 165 lbs of beef or 20,000 lbs of potatoes.
It takes 2500 gallons to produce 1lb of meat; compared to:
25 gallons of water to produce 1lb of wheat.
49 gallons of water for 1 lb of apples.
23 gallons of water for 1 lb of lettuce.
The water used to produce 10 lbs of steak is equivalent to the average consumption of water for an entire household for an entire year.
70% of all grain grown is fed to animals, and that grain is fit for humans.
Calf leather comes from animals killed at just 2 weeks old.
Vegans have a 20% lower rate of mortality from all causes.
Omnivores have double the risk of Alzheimer's disease than vegans.
Chinese people (living mainly on a vegetarian diet) consume 20% more calories than Americans but Americans are 20% fatter.
The cling film used to wrap meat in supermarkets & butchers contains chemicals linked to falling sperm counts in men.
Because slaughterhouses are rarely regulated, many animals have their throats slit while fully conscious.
Meat packing is the most dangerous job to have.
If not for the animals, go vegetarian for the people who have no choice but to work in slaughterhouses and risk losing their lives and limbs.
In the land it requires to feed one meat eater, 20 vegans can be fed.
It takes 16lbs of soy protein to make 1 lb of beef.
90% of cattle ranches created on cleared forest land go bankrupt in less than 8 years .
Which leaves that deserted, barren, and unusable because of nutrient loss.
Many of our rivers and streams are polluted because of animal runoff (poop)
To produce 1 calorie of energy from meat , it takes 60 calories of fuel.
Growing grains and beans to directly feed people produces 20 calories for every calorie of fuel used .
You do the math, veganism is 1200 times more effective in this respect.
Fish caught by nets die by suffocation.
I can easily make/buy brownies, pancakes, pies, cakes, pizza, "ice cream", nachos, crepes, burgers, burritos, tacos, soups, "hot dogs", pasta, noodles, fajitas and much more without using animal products, so I can feel good about not contributing to animal torture.
And those foods can be made even healthier than their "real" counterparts.
Being vegan has opened my eyes to new foods that I never would have tried before.
Indian cuisine has some of the best vegan food ever, and most of it is healthy and cheap.
Because being vegan makes you learn to cook better.
I wont lie, you'll need to cook more than before as a vegan, but everyone knows home-cooked food is so much better for you!
Cows naturally produce 5 liters of milk per day for their calves , with factory and profit-driven farming they produce 25-40 liters per day.
Spent dairy cows (from overproduction) are turned into hamburger.
To make milk a cow must have a calf, so she will be impregnated numerous times over what is natural so she will have more milk.
Almost all male calves born will become veal calves.
So there is a chunk of veal in every glass of milk.
That is why I made the switch to vegan from vegetarian, because everything is connected and the deadly cycle needs to be broken.
Countries with the highest meat and dairy consumptions have more brittle bones (osteoporosis.)
On average, a normal cow can live between 25-30 years, but dairy cows only live 3-5 years.
That is only ten percent of their natural life span!
Free-range and organic milk, eggs, and meat are hardly differently than their non-organic and non-free-range counterparts because there are no guidelines to specify what free-range is, and organic only applies to what is fed to the animals, not how they are treated!
Free-range chicken can mean that the chickens were crammed together tightly on a cold, concrete floor where they can't even turn around, and will be trampled on as they try to reach the food trough. I don't see how this is any less cruel.
And lastly, being vegan isn't hard, it's easy when you realize just how much you are helping animals, people, and the planet!I'm sorry I don't have sources for these, it became too tedious!
Vegans on average live up to 6 years longer than non-vegans.
Vegans on average are 10% lighter than non vegans.
It's virtually impossible to get a heart attack if you are vegan because the lowest cholesterol level for a heart attack was 150 and on average a vegan's total cholesterol is 128.
It's always nice to know you haven't eaten a dead animal for breakfast.
Or lunch or dinner for that matter.
Leather is dead skin, something I use an exfoliator to get rid of.
Animals are cuter and softer when they are living and breathing, not in jackets or trim.
Because cows also feel pain.
Because a lobster doesn't have a shock system that inhibits extreme pain when it's cut in half or boiled alive.
Meat and dairy makes your farts smell worse.
Lettuce doesn't ooze blood when you cut it.
Cucumbers don't have faces.
I don't see anything different between eating my dog and eating a cow.
Because I have 9 pet chickens and they are so cute and lovable!
Because animals can't speak up and say they don't want to be eaten.
Because giving a damn is attractive.
It takes over 3000 gallons of water to feed an omnivore for a day, and less than 400 gallons to feed a vegan.
Because most of the deforestation in the Amazon is for increasing cattle grazing lands.
And the Amazon Rainforest has the most rare species than any other place in the world.
The man who made the word vegan, Donald Watson, lived to be 94
Dr. Atkins however, had severe heart disease and died at the age of 70.
A lot of rabbit fur used for jacket trim is actually mislabelled dog and cat fur.
Animals in China used for fur are killed by smashing their heads against brick walls.
Many pet dogs die each year by stumbling into fur traps in the woods.
Beavers are drowned to death by traps to use them for fur.
Fur smells like nasty chemicals.
Faux fur is cheaper anyways.
And leather is disgusting when it rips and you can see all the fibers of the skin of the animals it used to be.
Leather tanning is extremely harmful to the environment.
Fiber (found in veggies) helps keep you regular.
The casein protein in milk causes your bones to lose calcium in urine.
Countries that have low intake of dairy actually have less hip fractures, a sign of osteoporosis.
I have a lot more energy than I did before I went vegan.
Eating meat means you payed for the slaughter of an innocent animals.
On average, vegans save 90 lives per year.
Humans have characteristics that show they were meant to be herbivores.
Because I don't salivate when I see roadkill.
Milk is the breast milk of another species.
Have you ever seen a dog suckling from a giraffe?
And we drink it past infancy too, something that certainly isn't normal.
I don't go to zoos because there was a dolphin who attempted suicide from the stress of being watched 24/7 and being confined in a small tank.
How would you like to be confined to a cage not much bigger than your bedroom for the rest of your life?
Because the only way to train circus animals to do unnatural tricks is by fear.
Elephants are beaten with electric prods to get them to perform.
Soy milk doesn't have pus (somatic cells) in it.
98% of chicken contains a small piece of feces, aka SHIT.
That gives new meaning to the phrase "chickenshit."
I don't have to worry about cross-contamination between raw meat and vegetables.
If I under cook my food, it won't kill me.
A hamburger is a patty of ground of cow brains, meat, and tissue.
Under animal protection laws for slaughtering, birds don't count as animals.
Not that those laws are adhered to anyway.
Pigs have the mental ability of 3-year old children.
That little piggy is smarter than your dog.
Fish can concentrate toxins from its environment up to 9 MILLION times stronger in their flesh.
Shrimp has more cholesterol than beef.
Chickens and humans both have a tongue, 2 legs, a brain, a nose, and nails. And we both have hearts.
Eating something that died doesn't make you manly.
It shows you have disrespect for life.
Every year in the UK ALONE, livestock is fed enough food to feed 250,000,000 people while in the world 30,000,000 people die of starvation.
1 acre yields 165 lbs of beef or 20,000 lbs of potatoes.
It takes 2500 gallons to produce 1lb of meat; compared to:
25 gallons of water to produce 1lb of wheat.
49 gallons of water for 1 lb of apples.
23 gallons of water for 1 lb of lettuce.
The water used to produce 10 lbs of steak is equivalent to the average consumption of water for an entire household for an entire year.
70% of all grain grown is fed to animals, and that grain is fit for humans.
Calf leather comes from animals killed at just 2 weeks old.
Vegans have a 20% lower rate of mortality from all causes.
Omnivores have double the risk of Alzheimer's disease than vegans.
Chinese people (living mainly on a vegetarian diet) consume 20% more calories than Americans but Americans are 20% fatter.
The cling film used to wrap meat in supermarkets & butchers contains chemicals linked to falling sperm counts in men.
Because slaughterhouses are rarely regulated, many animals have their throats slit while fully conscious.
Meat packing is the most dangerous job to have.
If not for the animals, go vegetarian for the people who have no choice but to work in slaughterhouses and risk losing their lives and limbs.
In the land it requires to feed one meat eater, 20 vegans can be fed.
It takes 16lbs of soy protein to make 1 lb of beef.
90% of cattle ranches created on cleared forest land go bankrupt in less than 8 years .
Which leaves that deserted, barren, and unusable because of nutrient loss.
Many of our rivers and streams are polluted because of animal runoff (poop)
To produce 1 calorie of energy from meat , it takes 60 calories of fuel.
Growing grains and beans to directly feed people produces 20 calories for every calorie of fuel used .
You do the math, veganism is 1200 times more effective in this respect.
Fish caught by nets die by suffocation.
I can easily make/buy brownies, pancakes, pies, cakes, pizza, "ice cream", nachos, crepes, burgers, burritos, tacos, soups, "hot dogs", pasta, noodles, fajitas and much more without using animal products, so I can feel good about not contributing to animal torture.
And those foods can be made even healthier than their "real" counterparts.
Being vegan has opened my eyes to new foods that I never would have tried before.
Indian cuisine has some of the best vegan food ever, and most of it is healthy and cheap.
Because being vegan makes you learn to cook better.
I wont lie, you'll need to cook more than before as a vegan, but everyone knows home-cooked food is so much better for you!
Cows naturally produce 5 liters of milk per day for their calves , with factory and profit-driven farming they produce 25-40 liters per day.
Spent dairy cows (from overproduction) are turned into hamburger.
To make milk a cow must have a calf, so she will be impregnated numerous times over what is natural so she will have more milk.
Almost all male calves born will become veal calves.
So there is a chunk of veal in every glass of milk.
That is why I made the switch to vegan from vegetarian, because everything is connected and the deadly cycle needs to be broken.
Countries with the highest meat and dairy consumptions have more brittle bones (osteoporosis.)
On average, a normal cow can live between 25-30 years, but dairy cows only live 3-5 years.
That is only ten percent of their natural life span!
Free-range and organic milk, eggs, and meat are hardly differently than their non-organic and non-free-range counterparts because there are no guidelines to specify what free-range is, and organic only applies to what is fed to the animals, not how they are treated!
Free-range chicken can mean that the chickens were crammed together tightly on a cold, concrete floor where they can't even turn around, and will be trampled on as they try to reach the food trough. I don't see how this is any less cruel.
And lastly, being vegan isn't hard, it's easy when you realize just how much you are helping animals, people, and the planet!

莫名有點懷念

莫名有點懷念
穿綠制服的時光
雖然短暫
但我卻永遠記得

quiz team match tonight

Honestly, I could kill myself right now...
Henry the eighth? Florence? Typhoon?
How could we miss those easy questions...

Babe, you gotta smarten up! This is not you at all!

diet

ok i really need to go on a diet...
apparently, my house parent's chocolate cake is the main reason of my weight gain.
1. cut off sugar
2. veges
3. apples

we'll see how it goes

a normal bastard

He's just another normal bastard

58000 U.S. dollars

Does it really worth that much? What exactly does 58000 pay for? Do the courses justify that much money?
The point of going to a college is to learn and making friends with all the like-minded,

38 days

cant wait till 12/15....
i need my result RIGHT NOW!

creep by radiohead, fav song of the day

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

Genie does sleep through classes

Yes, I did....I overslept first period this morning....
It should not be a big deal since it's just a mark on my attendance.
However, the reason that caused my lateness was actually a really screwed up dream....

I thought the dream itself was a good one but not so good when I woke up...

I dreamt about Mr. M again....
We were in a KTV or something and he was singing.... the worst part was that he held my hand...
I realized that I was dreaming suddenly, woke up, 8:07 A.M.
I was actually holding my cell phone...............= =
very fucked up
My astronomy teacher wasn't too pleased about that cos we had a test review...

sigh

I need to stop sleeping through my classes and stop dreaming about him...
i thought I had forgotten about him:(
I thought....

looking forward

It's a really mixed feeling I will say. I want to go to college but I don't want to...
I am eager to meet new friends and take cool classes but I dont know if I will be able to handle the work:(
Well, I prob can but I am still kinda scared.

I guess all I can do now is study hard?!

uhh Study again, I could never get enough of it.

btw, I had a dream about grandpa last night. He called and wanted to talk to grandma...
Maybe he actually did call and wanted me to deliver his message? Should I tell my mom about this?

hmm...

ok then
g2study

liberal arts school

I went to Franklin and Marshall's info session and surprisingly F and M is one of my top choices too! Ha..I kind of hope I won't get into CMU comp. sci. ED....
Anyways....
my preference goes like this now:
Wellesley=> Franklin and Marshall=>CMU=> Penn...
If Wellesley is a coed school, I would def. apply there:(
I dont think I should go to any single sex school...

Gosh, so much work to do...better start studying

i am not studying again

social networking sites are destroying human race...

emotional

I guess we all have to move on someday.
It's just a matter of time? When will my time come?
Angela is so in love with his new boy from the mixer... (anyways, it's irrelevant)

fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
and i am emotional eating again....
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck

i m sorry about all that f bombs
but i need a place to say that

Somehow, I feel that I don't know him anymore
Who is he?
Are we even acquainted?
If not for the photographs we took together and the facebook comments that we used to leave on each other's wall...
I would have doubted that he had ever existed.

start studying

I need to start studying!
AP stat test. AP Physics intense problem set. Astronomy test. Life is great!
Woohoo I am currently attending a spectacular school ..def. well prepared for college!