Tumblr is so complicated

I hate that everyone uses a different blogging site...It makes my life so much harder you know....
I am setting up a tumblr account... i don't know if i could do an auto blog entry thingy connect blogger+ tumblr?

Dramatic

Life has been pretty dramatic recently. I have switched my early decision over 100 times since september.. Last night, I decided that I would apply for Upenn ED; however, My advisor thought it was a very very big mistake... She actually said, " Laura, you are making a big big mistake... You'll end up not getting in both Penn and CMU..." Wow... I would totally kill myself if I end up @ RPI.... Troy, New York for another four years is simply too crazy... So, I switched back to CMU again... What a waste of my supplemental essay and my precious sleeping time... I texted Alex saying that I am applying to Penn around 12. He texted me back at 4:40....Yes, AM! I wonder how he manage to stay in such a good shape..I would have consume 5000 cal of chocolate for me to stay up till 4..
Now, I am extremely worried about me not getting into SCS:\ given to its 14% admission rate...MIT's admission rate is 10%...See what I am trying to get at?
As for now, my mind is set for SCS and I am ready to defend it. Both from myself and from my friends... Everyone wants me to apply to Penn. I know Penn is a good school but it's too hard to get into...with my 2100 SAT... Now I feel like a dumb ass wasting my summer vacation chilling instead of doing more SAT practice tests...

My favorite paragraph in the book: Things I have been silent about

"Those who are close to us, when they die, divide our world. There is the world of living, which we finally, in one way or another, succumb to, and then there is the domain of the dead that like an imaginary friend or foe or a secret concubine, constantly beckons, reminding us of our loss. What is memory but a ghost that lurks at the corners of the mind, interrupting our normal course of life, disrupting our sleep in order to remind us of some acute pain or pleasure, or how they felt about us, but ultimately how they allowed us to feel about ourselves or them."

Azar Nafisi

Today, I walked into Kiggins reluctantly to listen to a speaker the school invited. I even brought my ipad with me and planned on watching a movie. However, the woman gave such a good speech that i didn't even think about my ipad the entire time. Azar Nafisi, author of Reading Lolita in Tehran and Things I've been silent about, talked about politics, woman, culture and various topics. The central theme of the speech is culture. She gave me an entire new view on Middle East. I have never thought that we are the same-- we want the same thing. We want the freedom of choice. I always thought that Middle East is a place where the culture pressures the people. What Azar Nafisi said was that wasn't the culture, the culture had higher education and not the axis of evils. The uneven portrayed of different countries was what she was fighting for. She mentioned that all countries had something they were ashamed of. If repression was an image of Iran, then slavery was another image of America. Another quote that etched in my head was, " Home is something that can be easily lost. Home is like first love. You idealize it, fantasy it when you don't have it. Fifteen years later when you run into your first love who is bold and socially awkward. You then question yourself, 'what was I thinking?' " I think what she said was deep and the idea was hard to be well translated into word. There are things that you have feel instead of read. At the end, she closes the talk with, " follow your heard, follow what gives your lives meaning cos that's what really matter. "
At the end, I bought her book Things I have been silent about. I will write another review once i finish reading it.

Computer Science

I think AP computer science is pretty fascinating. I mean, how could James Gosling come up with this cool java language? My quizzes and homework both get good grades. I have an average of 94.5 so far. I guess hard work does pay off. I think I should apply for CMU since they have the best computer science program in the nation- or the most hard core. I like hard core. Yeah, i guess i shouldn't be thinking about Wellesley. I should focus on CMU. Btw, I watched Randy Pausch's graduation speech at CMU...i was almost drowned by tears.... You should watch it if you haven't done so.

wow college

Oh yeah. You're right. It's Oct 7th. I have 23 days left until Nov. 1st.... I am taking SAT on Saturday and if i don't do well, i might jump off anywhere. Btw, AP stat almost ruin my life... I can't believe that staying up for the entire night give me a B-... O well, i might end up at RPI and stay in troy the rest of my fucking life.